32 week appointment

32 week dr appointment
Measuring 31.5 cm
heartrate 142 bpm. seemed louder to me than usual

Dr Shaw said J was a pretty good size for being 3 weeks early (5lb 13oz) and said he probably would have been an average 7lber had I gone to my due date.

I really want to skip out on internal exams because they suck and are pointless to me, but I think they're going to be keeping an eye on me since J was early. When it comes up, I'll be telling them I don't want any internals unless there seems to be an actual problem to monitor. J was only early because he was forced to be. I was only a few days from being full term, chances are I would have started on my own on my body's own time.

Yes, I'm still a little bitter about it.

Picked up Ina May's Guide to Childbirth from the library. Meant to get Sarah Plain and Tall too, but apparently they took it off the hold shelf. I could have sworn today was the last day I could pick it up. They didn't ask me to pay off my fines, so I have a couple of dollars in my purse now. Woot.

Rough night last night. J WOULD NOT sleep. He wouldn't take any naps for King J while I was at class either. Just wanted to cry. I tried to nurse him to sleep 3 times and he wouldn't. Both of us were crying. I ended up having him cry it out in the playpen and ignored him because I was so drained. All I wanted to do after class last night was come home and sleep and I couldn't because he wouldn't sleep. I hate doing cry it out, but I think I'm going to have to keep doing this (him falling asleep in the playpen) and then sleep next to him on the couch, so he gets used to sleeping alone. Oh, and then he decided to get up around 4:15 this morning. He got up and went to D's room, and suddenly I'm being woken up by D, complaining about J being in his room and waking him up. sigh. Moved the gate in between their bedroom doors so J could just go back and forth between my room and his own. He mostly left me alone after that, until 7:40.

I'm not a morning person. I'm getting farther from being a night person, too. I'm an afternoon person now - and I like naps in the afternoon. But I can't on Wednesday and Thursday because of class. I like my classes, teachers are nice, but it's so hard to stay conscious for three straight hours. I'm used to those three hours a week being broken up over 2-3 days, not a single session once a week.